Research Arsenals - Friends, Lovers, Countrymen: Relationships in letters.

 

Friends, Lovers, Countrymen: Relationships in letters.

Crafting believable relationships in fiction is a cornerstone of creating a story that will keep your readers engaged and begging for more. When writing historical fiction, you have the added burden of not only creating these relationships, but also anchoring them in the historical setting of the time. While the core of human relations will always remain unchanged, there are specific historical details you can use to make your storytelling more grounded and interesting.

Just as a modern-day email to your boss and a text message to a friend or lover contain very different content and tone, Civil War-era letters vary widely depending on who is writing them, and who they’re writing to. Some letters were private, meant only to be read by close family, while others were meant to be shared with the whole community, or even published in newspapers. By reading letters written for a variety of different audiences, you can get a much fuller picture of mid-19th-century communication and expressions which will help create accurate and believable relationships in your own historical fiction.

Letters to Family

Letters to family, whether that family be a soldier’s parents and siblings or his wife and children, are the most common types of letters to have been preserved up to the present day. This comes as little surprise as it’s much more likely for people to save and pass down letters from close family than correspondence with friends and acquaintances. Luckily, these letters have a wealth of information to offer about how people talked to their parents, siblings, and children about the war and about family life in general.

A frequent topic between husbands and wives is discussion about money and property, usually with the husband advising the wife to “do as you think is best” as in this letter,(https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/46715 from Lloyd Manning, a private in the 3rd Massachusetts Heavy Artillery to his wife, Lydia (Phillips) Manning.

“You may do with my money just as you think best. I can trust it all to you better than myself. If I can get a good chance between now and the first of May, I may sell my watch and get a cheaper one. Has S. ever sold Mother’s gold one? I should think you would enjoy going to visit them and I am sure I have no objections. Hope you will go.”

Fathers fighting in the war often included messages to their children, usually asking them to keep studying and promising them little treats in the near future. Colonel Clark Swett Edwards of the 5th Maine Infantry, wrote (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/37453) to his wife, “You speak of Frank being sick. I am sorry as I wanted him at school and then he was so fat when he went home. I told him I should charge you for what he gained here but he could not see it. You say you think I forgot little Mosie. I think I wrote a little of the letter to him, did I not? Say to him to be a good boy and study his book and I will bring him home something pretty.”

The two sons mentioned in the letter, Frank and Mosey were thirteen and seven years old at the time.

Letters between siblings varied greatly depending on their ages. Adult siblings would frequently write about the war, things happening at home, and worries and plans for the future. In contrast, letters from soldiers to much younger siblings often encouraged them to stay in school and be good for their parents.

Letters to Lovers

Besides letters to family, romantic letters are also fairly common to see, sometimes even with instructions that the reader should burn or destroy the letter after reading it, advice the recipient thankfully did not follow. Sometimes these letters would be between a courting or engaged couple, other times it would be between husbands and wives.

Though it has fallen out of use today, a common term of endearment for a romantic partner at the time was “pet” and it is frequently used in romantic letters to address a lover. After telling her boyfriend and future husband some scandalous news, Mary Louise Meeker wrote (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/64809), “Oh dear, don’t let anyone see this letter. Burn it up as quick as you have read it, won’t you Pet?”

Unsurprisingly, longing to see their partners is one of the most frequent themes of romantic letters. In a letter (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/64925) from December 3, 1864, Mary Louise Meeker looked forward to an upcoming reunion with her boyfriend: 

“Oh Pet, it is coming on to January fast and I am so glad. It can’t come away any too soon to suit me for you will come home then. I am looking so anxiously for the time to come. You had a pleasant Thanksgiving. I am glad you enjoyed it but your thoughts wandered, you said. I wonder where they went? You are getting tired of this war. I do not blame you. And you are so soon to be a bachelor and that grieves you so I will soon be an old maid too. But not of the kind that Abby is though, thank fortune.”

Some letters between lovers become more explicit. In a letter to her fiancé, Celia Leland (soon to become Celia Blakely wrote (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/95252), “I embrace this moment to assure you dear Cyrene, how very, very dear you are to me. I pray that very soon I may be permitted to clasp my arms around your neck, and call you my own darling Cyrene, and tell you how fondly I love you only, ever. Dearest, every hour of my life do I realize more perfectly the fact, that you are all—yes all, to me, the idol of my heart! Dearest, love your own affectionate Celia still, and remember how dearly I will love you, and that I will continue wholly devoted to you forever!”

Cyrene was equally effusive in his love, writing in one letter (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/95243), “May I kiss and hug and love when we meet? Oh, you’ll repent, I fear, after one meeting for what you’ve said. Mother says the healthiest women could not live long with me about to caress her of which there may be a large allowance for “stretching.” You see I can joke sometimes even upon serious subjects. Love me always. I will never disapprove it. Be a good girl as you always are and believe me your devoted, — Cyrene”

Letters written with romantic intent were usually guarded from prying eyes of other soldiers and family, but the ones that remain were likely kept as treasured mementos by the couples and survived over a century and a half to be recorded and digitized today. While reading some may feel a bit voyeuristic, they provide valuable insight into love in mid-19th Century America.

Letters to Friends

When writing to close friends, many writers could be more frank and candid than they would be to other audiences. One doesn’t often write to their parents about their gambling and sexual exploits, for example. In addition to writing about things that might be considered embarrassing or shameful to other audiences, they also talked about their fears and dreams for the future as well as gave insight into popular beliefs and hobbies of the time.

In a letter (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/84859) to a female friend, Electa F. Miller detailed why she chose the husband she did.

“So it seems you still continue your labors of love for the brave young men who go forth strong in their love of justice & truth. I appreciate the spirit you manifest of a desire to be strong to go forth & battle for the right, but I don’t think I possess it. I choose to be sort of petted, you know. Consequently I chose a man ever so much older than I am for a husband & he indulges me in every way he can.” 

She also added, “Besides, he is a healing medium you know—believes in Spiritualism; but I don’t, do you? He can take the pain out of my head by holding his hands on my head.”

George Waterman Jackson of the 4th Battery Indiana Light Artillery wrote unusually explicit letters (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/43742) to his cousin Jim Smith, as this excerpt reveals. “Jim, I received your letter and was glad to hear from you but I wish that you was well so you could xxxx them girls around there for me. I get all I want here. When we was in Nashville, I just run them little whores all of the time. There is a plenty of wench xxxxxxx here but I don’t like that kind. But it will do if we can’t get any other.”

Letters of this type are much more likely to have been destroyed soon after reading so it is difficult to know the full prevalence of them. Those examples that survive give a window into the much more colorful language that was used at the time but seldom written down.

On the other hand, many letters contain the more pious overtones modern readers picture people of the Mid-19th Century to have used. Though it’s illuminating to see more course and vulgar language than we typically expect from the era, we also can’t lose sight of the more restrained and religious writing of the time either. Both have their place and together paint a more vibrant picture of life at the time.

Mary (Fox) Green writing (https://app.researcharsenal.com/imageSingleView/35207) to her son, James Harvey Green, the captain of company F of the 8th Wisconsin infantry expressed a common religious sentiment of the time. The spelling of the letter has been corrected to make it easier to read.

“O, this war is a dreadful scourge for the people for their sins. I hope that our Ruler’s will humble themselves and look to the right source for wisdom to manage this great war and wipe out slavery it is a curse to any nation. Harvey, if you do believe on the lord Jesus Christ, he will do what is best for you. Commit the keeping of your soul and body to him, then it will be well with you – whether life or death. I could not close this letter without saying one word about the salvation of your soul. It is worth more to you then all this world. If you lose it, you lose your all. If save it, your fortune is made forever. All I can do is to pray for you and that I do day and night that your life and health may be precious in his sight.”

Conclusion

In addition to providing concrete details of the time through their content, the way letters are written reflects the different types of relationships between the writers and their audiences. They reveal the differences in language and conversation topics that existed between different types of people and paint a fuller picture of the many ways people of the Civil War-era had to express themselves. Whether it’s an exhortation to lead a religious life or a lurid description of sexual activities, reading and studying period letters is a great way to get a handle on how people spoke and thought during the mid-19th Century, especially when they were writing for a close, private audience. By reading and studying these letters, you can give your own characters an authentic feel by incorporating the language and social structures of the time.

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