#BookReview — Forty Years In A Day by Mona Rodriguez and Dianne Vigorito. #HistoricalFiction #America

Forty Years In A Day

By Mona Rodriguez and Dianne Vigorito

Confession is good for the soul even after the soul has been claimed...

The story begins in Italy, 1900. After years of torment and neglect, Victoria and her four small children immigrate to Hell's Kitchen, New York, to escape her alcoholic, abusive husband. On the day they leave, he tragically dies, but she does not learn of his death for several years—a secret that puts many lives on hold.

Quickly, they realize America's streets are not paved with gold, and the limits of human faith and stamina are tested time and time again. Poverty, illness, death, kidnapping, and the reign of organized crime are just some of the crosses they bear.

Victoria's eldest son, Vincenzo, is the sole surviving member of the family and shares a gut-wrenching account of their lives with his daughter during a visit to Ellis Island on his ninetieth birthday. He explains how the lives of he and his siblings have been secretly intertwined with an infamous Irish mob boss and ends his unsettling disclosure with a monumental request that leaves Clare speechless.

Forty Years in a Day is layered with the struggles and successes of each family member and defines the character of an era. Follow the Montanaro family through several decades, and stand in the shoes of a past generation.

“Clare, every day you’re alive is a beautiful day…”

Clare had grown up hearing that, but she had never really understood the meaning behind the words until she found herself sat on a bench with her ninety-year-old father. It was then that she dared to ask him a question — one that she feared he would not be able to answer because memories fade, as memories do. Clare asked him to tell her the story of his life.

Vincenzo Montanaro may well be old, but he remembers everything. Every detail. But his story did not start with his birth. His destiny was tied with that of his mother’s and his brothers and sisters. It was a story of those who he had loved and those he had lost. It was a story of a dream that at times had turned into a nightmare. It was the story of a new beginning, a desperate hope. Vincenzo Montanaro's life had been both a blessing and a curse.

From a terrible confession to the desperation of a man torn between his lover and the woman he still loved, Forty Years In A Day by Mona Rodriguez and Dianne Vigorito is the story of one family as they reached for that all illusive American Dream.

With a sprawling stirring narrative and almost lyrical prose, not to mention a plot twist that I most definitely did not see coming, Forty Years In A Day is one of those books that grabs your attention from the very beginning and takes you on a beautiful voyage of discovery. This novel is simply unputdownable. It is enthralling, beguiling and utterly engrossing. When Historical Fiction is written in such a way, then there is no such thing as too much.

There is a vast cast of characters in this book. Rodriguez and Vigorito give their readers insight into not only Vincenzo's perspective but also many of the secondary characters as well. This is an approach that carries a great deal of risk, for a reader can easily become confused, but in the case of this book, it added a richness to the story that would have been terribly difficult to obtain from a single viewpoint. It also gives the reader an intimacy towards the characters and the situations they find themselves in. The natural rhythm to this tale meant that not once did I feel bewildered as to who was talking and what part they played in this dramatic family drama.

There are so many characters in this story, but one of my favourite characters has to be Vincenzo “Vinny”. Vinny forms a friendship on the boat as they crossed the Atlantic Ocean, and it was a friendship that would endure for the rest of his life. Vinny and Tony grew up together and then later became business partners. They are kindred spirits who both embraced the idea of the American Dream, but instead of waiting for it to fall onto their laps as many did, they set out to find it and make the dream their own. Even from a young age, these two endearing boys are determined to make some money for their poverty-stricken families. Their determination to start at the very bottom and work their way to the top sets them apart. Vinny and Tony’s dogged determination never to give up made them incredibly appealing characters. Of course, this story is not just about Vinny’s successful business ventures, but it is also about the man himself, one who knows what he wants but occasionally stumbles along the way. Vinny’s character was very authentic in the telling, and of all the characters in this novel, Vinny is the one I adored the most.

Santo Carnavale, Vinny’s half-brother, was another character that fascinated me. Santo is a child who was born in an era where neurodevelopment disorders were not understood. Santo is quite a destructive child who finds ingenious ways to get out of school. There is an incident with a toilet that is incredibly amusing. However, this incident shows this young boy’s intelligence — he would have made a good engineer! Santo is a character whom I thought was wonderfully portrayed. His depiction was candid in the telling, but it was also sobering for what chance did he have in a world that was not equipped to deal with the health issues that he had? Santo’s escalating spiral of decline when he reaches adulthood was incredibly hard to witness, but it did bring a lot to this story, and it demonstrated how different children, who had exactly the same upbringing, could be.

Like Santo, Louise is a character who struggles with her mental health with devastating and unforeseen consequences. Louise came across as very confident and boisterous. She is one of those people who light up a room just by entering it. But underneath this bubbly personality is a young woman who is, in fact, terribly insecure. I thought Louise’s depiction was fabulous.

There are scenes in this novel that are terribly distressing — from incidents of domestic violence, deaths, and the brutalities of the mob. At times there is an essence of Mario Puzo’s The Godfather about this novel, but I think that is what makes it such an exceptional read. It is an incredible journey that Rodriguez and Vigorito take their readers on.

Rodriguez and Vigorito’s attention to the historical detail has to be commended. The hours of research that must have gone into this book is staggering. They have captured the very essence of the 1900s in both Italy and America. Rodriguez and Vigorito’s depiction of the desperate disappointment of the immigrants as they stepped off the boat and realised that the American Dream was just as it said, a dream. The streets were not paved with gold. Instead, they were paved with disease, despair and poverty. This is a story that spans two generations and, through the eyes of this remarkable family, we watch as history is made. The roaring 20s was particularly well depicted, especially the speakeasies. The despair of The Wall Street Crash was also exceptionally well-drawn. This is a tale of a family who endured hardship and suffering, but it is also one of boundless hope and love. Rodriguez and Vigorito have penned a book that is a work of exceptional scholarship and one that could so easily be adapted for the small screen. This is a story that is as mesmerising as it is detailed. In all ways, Forty Years In A Day is a Historical Fiction triumph!

Forty Years In A Day by Mona Rodriguez and Dianne Vigorito is a poignant voyage of discovery and one that mesmerised me from the opening sentence to the final full stop. This is a book that really had it all — it is an honest and painfully truthful depiction of one family as they navigate a forever changing world. This book is definitely worthy of a place on your bookshelf, but more importantly, your heart. I could read this book over and over again and never tire of it. It is, in all ways, a real gem.

I Highly Recommend.

Review by Mary Anne Yarde. 

The Coffee Pot Book Club.

Pick up your copy of

Forty Years In A Day

Amazon UK • Amazon US

Mona Rodriguez and Dianne Vigorito (1959 - 2015)

Mona Rodriguez.

Mona Rodriguez and Dianne Vigorito are cousins. Throughout their lives, they had heard many stories from family members that were fascinating, sometimes even unbelievable, and decided to piece together the puzzle of tales. Through research and interviews, their goal was to create a fictional story that follows a family through several decades, providing the reader an opportunity to stand in the shoes of a past generation and walk in search of their hopes and dreams. What they realize in the process is that human emotions have been the same throughout generations - the difference is how people are molded and maneuvered by the times and their situations.

Mona and Dianne strongly believe there is tremendous knowledge to be gained from those who are older and wiser, a resource precariously looming at everyone's fingertips.

Connect with Mona: Website • Amazon Author Page • Goodreads.

Author’s Inspiration ~ Merryn Allingham #History #HistoricalFiction @MerrynWrites

It is with the greatest of pleasure that I welcome historical fiction author, Merryn Allingham, on to the blog today. Merryn is going to share with us her inspirations behind her fabulous books.

Author’s Inspiration

When authors are asked what inspired them to write a particular book, it’s very often a character who has been lurking in the back of their minds and needs his or her story told. Or a real life event the writer has read about in a newspaper or seen on television that has the creative mind humming. Or simply a snatch of conversation overheard on a bus or train or in a café. When I look back at the books I have written, it’s clear that no matter what historical period I’ve chosen, it’s place, a particular setting, that has galvanised me to write that very first word. In the Daisy’s War trilogy it was India and my family connections to the country, in a recent timeslip it was Hastings in East Sussex and the town’s association with the Pre-Raphaelites, and the book I have just sent to my agent is set in Constantinople in the first years of the 20^th century when the Ottoman Empire still ruled swathes of the Middle East.

The Buttonmaker’s Daughter and its follow -on, The Secret of Summerhayes, (though both are standalone novels) owe their existence to a memorable visit I made three years ago to the Lost Gardens of Heligan in Cornwall. ‘Lost’ because they were only rediscovered in 1990 and since that time have been lovingly restored – the work, in fact, is still ongoing. The gardens’ heyday was in the late Victorian/Edwardian period when their owners spent a great deal of money, time and effort, in creating a beautiful and exotic paradise. But, when in 1914, war came to England, everything changed. Over half the staff perished in the mud of Flanders and the gardens were left to a slow disintegration.

Heligan Gardeners 1900

It was as though they slept for the next eighty years. And because they remained untouched, the buildings the gardeners had known in 1914 – the bothy, the bee boles, the pineapple pit, and wishing well among others – stayed essentially the same. These were what the pioneers who hacked their way through the undergrowth in 1990 discovered, along with what had once been a two acre vegetable garden, south facing walls for the fruit harvest and a series of beautifully designed individual spaces, among them the Flower Garden, the Sundial Garden, the Italian Garden and the Ravine.

The Flower Garden

There was plenty of evidence, too, from the previous century. Lead and zinc Victorian plant tags lay buried in the soil. A giant vine weaved its way through broken panes of glass in the walled garden. True romance! Not quite so romantic were the effects of requisitioning. In 1916 Heligan became a military hospital and during the Second World War housed the American army. The beautiful lawns, or what was left of them then, were concreted to provide hard standing for tanks and jeeps and the trees, many of them rare, used as target practice.

The Bothy

We had a brilliant guide the day we visited Heligan and it was one particular story he told that lodged in my mind. It concerned the ordinary men whose labour created the beauty of these gardens. On one particular day in the summer of 1914, every gardener on the estate downed tools and walked together to Redruth, to enlist at the local recruiting centre. Most of those men never returned. The Day Book, which would normally list every job completed, that day carried only the date and was never used again. With the loss of so many, the gardens slowly succumbed to the ravages of nature, until the ‘sleeping beauty’ was rediscovered some thirty years ago. The image of those men, honourable and courageous, leaving a hard but secure life, and walking together to enlist in what they saw as a just cause, stayed with me, and I knew I had to record that moment in a novel.

South facing wall used to grow fruit

My fictional estate, Summerhayes, is nestled in the Sussex countryside, rather than Cornwall but it offers the same perfect idyll. And like Heligan, that idyll is disrupted by a war that looms ever closer. Disrupted, too, by conflict nearer to home - between neighbours and within the family itself. In The Buttonmaker’s Daughter the summer of 1914 changes everything for the Summer family, as indeed it did for so many, and in The Secret of Summerhayes set in 1944, the estate has become a shadow of its former glory. Since the start of World War Two, the house and gardens have been requisitioned and the Canadian army are billeted there. Occupation by the army has had predictable results: the gardens are wild and impenetrable, the once beautiful lawns are under concrete and the Arts and Crafts house is battered and bedraggled. As with the earlier novel, historic events are central to The Secret of Summerhayes - in 1944 it is the dangers of the D Day invasion of Europe. And like The Buttonmaker’s Daughter, the novel traces a romance that grows strong in the face of dangers that emanate from much closer to home.

A small part of the Ravine

By the end of both books, Summerhayes has survived - and with the promise of future restoration. Who knows, one day I might visit again!

The Buttonmaker’s Daughter

 

May, 1914.

Nestled in Sussex, the Summerhayes mansion seems the perfect country idyll.

But with a long-running feud in the Summers family and tensions in

Europe deepening, Summerhayes’ peaceful days are numbered.

For Elizabeth Summer, the lazy quiet of her home has become stifling.

A chance meeting with Aiden Kellaway, an architect’s assistant,

offers the secret promise of escape, but her marriage to a man of trade

has no place in her father’s plans. In the ensuing conflict, Elizabeth along

with her family faces a dangerous future.

As the sweltering heat of 1914 builds to a storm, she faces a choice

between family loyalty and an uncertain life with the man she loves.

One thing is definite: this summer will change everything.

Amazon US Amazon UK

The Secret of Summerhayes

A war-torn summer

A house fallen into ruin

A family decimated…

Summer 1944: Bombed out of London by the Blitz, Bethany Merston takes up a post as companion to elderly Alice Summer, last remaining inhabitant of the dilapidated and crumbling Summerhayes estate. Now a shadow of its former glory, the house and gardens have been requisitioned by the military and show the scars of army occupation.

Alice has struggled with the realities of war but is now plagued by anonymous letters and haunting visions of her old household. At first, Beth tries to convince her it’s all in her mind, but soon it becomes clear that a sinister force is once more at work in the Summer family.
The Secret of Summerhayes tells of dark secrets, almost-forgotten scandals and a household teetering on the edge of ruin.

Amazon US Amazon UK

Merryn Allingham

Merryn Allingham was born into an army family and spent her childhood on the move. Unsurprisingly, it gave her itchy feet and in her twenties she escaped from an unloved secretarial career to work as cabin crew and see the world. The arrival of marriage, children and cats meant a more settled life in the south of England where she has lived ever since. It also gave her the opportunity to go back to ‘school’ and eventually teach literature at university.

Merryn has always loved books that bring the past to life, so when she began writing herself the novels had to be historical. Her latest books explore two pivotal moments in the history of Britain. The Buttonmaker’s Daughter is set in Sussex in the summer of 1914 as the First World War looms ever nearer and its sequel, The Secret of Summerhayes, forty years later in the summer of 1944 when D Day led to eventual victory in the Second World War. Along with the history, of course, there’s always plenty of mystery and romance to keep readers intrigued.

Merryn loves to hear from readers, you can find her: Website Facebook Twitter

Join Ann Richardson as she takes a look what it was like to live with AIDS or HIV in the dark days of the 1990s @CelebratingGran

Living with AIDS or HIV

 in the dark days of the 1990s

By Ann Richardson

Myths?  Definitely not.  Legends? No. Books?  Yes, for certain. And a very powerful one at that.

I am not a historian or a even a writer of historical fiction. I write books that are not easily squeezed into any genre. They are sometimes called ‘narrative non-fiction’, but I don’t much like the term. They are based on interviews with people talking about their lives and are best described as like a TV documentary, but in words.

So what does this have to do with history? Well, if you live long enough, what you lived through when you were younger becomes ‘contemporary history’. And nearly thirty years ago, in the early 1990s, there was a very real crisis in the lives of millions of people across the world – the rise and spread of HIV/AIDS.

Now, so many years later, this is seen to be almost like any other chronic disease, with those diagnosed being able to expect a normal life span. Back then, it was a different story. Seen as a kind of twentieth century plague, it had everyone terrified. For the individual afflicted, it caused a lot of pain and other physical and mental problems, followed by almost certain death. There was no cure.

Because of the stigma attached to the disease, people avoided talking about it. It was thought to be caught, primarily, from the transmission of bodily fluids via blood or sperm, but many lived in fear of accidental contagion.

And the data were frightening: millions died over a short number of years – not just in faraway places, but nearby. It took an enormous toll of mostly young people. Even writing about it now makes me tremble slightly.

Wise Before their Time is a book about a small number of people living with AIDS, who happened to be attending an international conference in London in 1991. It is based on interviews with 21 people – and written material submitted by 23 others –  spanning every continent.  It allows them to tell their stories in their own words. I felt the statistics being spouted at the time were so overwhelming, there was a need to see the human side.

These men and women talk about how they first learned of their diagnosis, the difficulties of telling their partners, friends and family and the problems of keeping in work and active. Indeed, they explore the many challenges of living with a stigmatising condition, often with numerous friends in the same situation and knowing that they did not have long to live. For the most part, perhaps in part because many were active in their local communities, they were immensely dignified and strong, hence the title of the book.

Sir Ian McKellen kindly offered to write a Foreword, in which he wrote that these stories were “as powerful as any great classic of fiction”.  But the power rests, in part, from the fact that it is not fiction. It is all true. Readers will come away with the real understanding of what it was like to live through this terrible time in living memory.

How did I come to write the book?  My day-to-day job was a researcher and writer on health issues – and this brought me in touch with many problems of the day. In 1989, I met Dietmar Bolle, a young (early thirties) gay German man, who had been living with AIDS for five years and was a busy AIDS activist. We had little in common (I was in my early fifties, happily married and not an activist at all), but somehow in the way that can sometimes happen, we became close friends.   

At that time, I had no particular interest in AIDS – nor, indeed, in issues surrounding dying, although I subsequently wrote another book about people providing end-of-life care (Life in a Hospice).  But when I learned that Dietmar was the principal organiser of a conference – and had asked those attending to send in their ‘stories’ with their application, I was hooked. 

I immediately saw that this could be lead to a load of fascinating stories, especially if supplemented by personal interviews. Here were  people living with the most feared disease of the day, all coming together to talk and learn. It would be a challenge to undertake and would prove a valuable way to humanise this dreadful condition.

Wise Before their Time is the result. Published by HarperCollins in 1992 (Dietmar did not live to see it),  it sold well at the time, but eventually fell by the wayside. I took back the rights from the publisher and re-launched it with a new cover and short introduction in 2017, primarily for its historical interest.

Here is one story, to give the flavour. As with the rest of the book, it is written in the present tense, but one has to assume that Danny died within a short time after the interview – along with others I tried to trace some years later.

Danny

Danny is thirty-two and from Northern Ireland. He is currently unemployed, having just spent four years at college studying theology. He had hoped to be ordained as an Anglican priest, but his ordination was deferred on grounds of his homosexuality. He is now seeking to have this decision overturned. He lives on his own.

Danny's diagnosis is very recent:

I was diagnosed HIV on the 13th December 1990. The reason I went was I'd got a swollen gland under my armpit. I discovered that at Easter of last year and it was still there in December. When they took the test, it was a week's wait. Those seven days were like an eternity.

I remember it exactly, probably always will. The doctor said to me, 'As you know, Danny, we took some blood.' I said, 'Yes, I was here when you took it.' And he said, 'Well, we had the results back and I'm very sorry to tell you that it's highly probable that you are positive.' It was as if somebody kicked me in the balls. Then I thought, hang on, what do you mean 'highly probable'?

This was my body we were talking about. It took me three times saying I wanted to know what's going on before he said, 'Okay, Danny, the results of the first test are positive.' Although I'd more or less convinced myself that it was possible I was positive, it didn't really prepare me for hearing those words. I'd lived in hope that the result of the test would be negative.

I went with a friend, a close woman friend, for the results. I went out and got her and the poor woman, she knew right away what had been said. We sat and talked to the doctor. Or she talked and I just gazed into oblivion.

I went back to her place that night, to her and her partner. I intended to get totally drunk, but no matter how many drinks I downed, I couldn't quite make that stage. Who? Why? What's going to happen? Who can I tell? Why me? And even, 'Hang on a second, they got my test mixed up with somebody else. That's what it is, some other poor sod has been told he's negative and in fact he's positive.' And I thought, no, get a grip on yourself, that doesn't happen.

My health has been fine. I'm healthier now than I have been for the last two years. The chances are that I'd been living with HIV for at least two years, as my weight had dropped then, over three stone in four months. I did go for a test at that time – and that proved negative. They said to come back in three months, because I had put myself at risk, but I was so relieved I didn't bother going back.

One difficult aspect of learning about HIV is telling other people – friends, partners, parents and so forth:

The first people I told was the faculty at my college, because they were people I trusted. They'd seen me through the ordination being put off and stood by me. We disagreed very strongly, theologically, with God's view of sexuality, but that didn't matter. When I needed their support they were there. They were fantastic. I couldn't have wished for more from anyone, both faculty and fellow students.

When I was first diagnosed, I was in a relationship with another bloke. We'd been together for a number of months. And although we practised safe sex, the first thought that came into my head was have I put him at risk? He wasn't around for a few weeks. When I eventually told him, all he did was get up and just hold me for about twenty minutes, which was fantastic.

We're no longer together. I don't think it was anything to do with the HIV, but it might have been. The important thing for me was his immediate reaction – wanting to support and comfort and hold me. He didn't get himself tested. He saw the health advisor and as a result decided that there was no call for him to be tested.

I haven't told my mother and brothers. The three of them know that I'm gay – they've known since I was nineteen. That caused enough problems in itself. I went home this Easter, not really sure whether I was going to tell or not. I was only there for a week. And when it came to the Wednesday and I hadn't told them, I thought no – thinking about my mother particularly – to dump this on her now and just leave would be an awful thing to do.

It's a difficult thing. What I don't want to happen is that in three years time I become ill with something like pneumonia and end up in hospital. I don't want my mother to find out that way. That would be horrendous for her. But if I tell her now and then go on for the next ten years being healthy, will she spend those years in fear and trepidation?

In two or three years time, I'll be ready. I'll know when it's time for me to tell. I want to tell her. It will send her up the wall, it will be as if things are caving in on her. After that, there would be, I hope, a tremendous amount of support.

There was a situation about three years ago where my brother wouldn't let me see his kids. That tore me apart. I'd arranged to meet him at his home, to be there for the evening. I met him in the middle of the road and he said his wife didn't want me near the kids, she's afraid of AIDS. He said, 'You're a queer, queers get AIDS, don't they.' I left him, went into town and just got totally wrecked. I was in tears.

One effect of telling people is that relationships change:

Some of my close friends suddenly wanted to wrap me up in cotton wool. It was as if I became some china doll that had to be treated gently.

I was known at college as being one of the more controversial figures. I revelled in that. I'd be forever challenging people about issues to do with unemployment or race or sexuality. I loved getting into heated arguments at times. Two people in particular, I noticed that their whole tone towards me changed, they wanted to 'care for' me. I didn't need to be cared for in that way. I said, 'Listen, I'm still Danny, I'm not "Danny-HIV-positive", I'm Danny.'

On one level, it was good to know their desire to shield me from other people's ignorance and fear. On another level, I'm a fighter, born into the civil rights movement in Ireland and brought up with protest almost running in my veins. It was the possibility that that part of me could have been lost. They became like the parent and I became the child. But I was able to say, 'Hang on a minute, I'm still me.' I still enjoy stirring things, I've spent my life breaking out of closets and I'm not about to be shut into another closet called HIV.

I'm now involved in a number of training groups. And I'll say 'Listen, if I as a person with HIV get up your nose, then bloody well tell me.' If you begin treating someone as if they're breakable, then you're in danger of robbing them of some of their humanity.

There is always a fear of prejudice:

I get paranoid on occasion, I think I overhear or see the odd kind of look, as if people are talking about me, people who I'm not close to particularly. I refuse to keep my HIV status under lock and key. I'm not broadcasting it from the rooftop, but one of the things about HIV and AIDS is the stigma and the loneliness and isolation.

I used to run a playschool. I really love kids. Often, the mums would be a bit harassed and they'd say, 'Here Danny, take this little so-and-so off me hands.' And I'd take the child and look after them, while mum went for a walk. Which I loved. Sometimes, when the kids were coming through, before they'd get from A to B they would have to crawl all over Uncle Danny. You'd see me crawling under the tables chasing the kids.

One day, just after my diagnosis, I was doing that with one little kid and the thought hit me ­­– how would his parents react if they knew I was HIV-positive? And I froze, it was a horrendous thought. Then I thought, no, I'm not going to let this child suffer. He's used to me chasing him around, he looks forward to it and I enjoy it as well. As for the parents, I don't know how they'd have reacted, because they didn't know.

Awhile later, I had an incident with a married couple who I'm very close to. I told the husband I'd been diagnosed HIV-positive. The next day, his wife came with her child around the corner and she said 'Look who's here, Jim' as she did every morning. And Jim came tearing round, 'Danny, Danny, hug', arms in the air. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Just this woman being the same with me as she'd always been. I walked away feeling twelve foot tall.

It is most helpful to meet others in the same situation:

I can come across as being very outgoing, easy, laid back. And I am, partly. But there have been times when it's almost as if the whole surroundings just freeze. And I'm just left there, feeling like I'm suspended on the end of some rope somewhere.

Within the week of being diagnosed, I went into the AIDS centre in my area and saw one of the workers. I told her and she didn't say a word, she got up and came over and held me. That was exactly what I needed. Then I found I was going in there almost every day of the week, just to sit down and have a coffee. And let people in the street walk past – they could be out there, I was in here and I was safe.

I asked if I could speak with someone else with HIV. The feeling of relief when I saw this person who had been living with it for at least five years and he was healthy! That was so good, to talk to him. We were in the same boat. He knew what it was like, he had experienced some of the same things and he was enjoying his life.

Just the other day, I was asked to speak to someone who had just been diagnosed. That gave me a great feeling of contributing, of helping somebody else, just like this person that I spoke to. Just being there.

Danny found he needed to come to terms with himself:

When I was first diagnosed, I felt very angry at myself, that I had been stupid enough to pick up HIV. I should have been practising safe sex for at least five years.

In one of my counselling sessions, the counsellor piled on top of one another five telephone books. She gave me a piece of wood and said, 'Anger doesn't have to be a negative thing, it can be healing, but only if you express it.' I started to hammer into the telephone books and it was frightening, the rage that was in me. It was directed against me.

My feeling about myself has changed. Overall, I like me. I am a wholer person today than I was this time last year. HIV brought out all kinds of issues – things that happened as a child – I've been able to look at them. I like being me. The God I believe in doesn't make mistakes.

The Jesus of the gospels and the Jesus of the Church so often seem two different people. Some parts of the Church even go as far as saying that AIDS is a plague sent by God. But those who think that haven't met my God. That's blasphemy, to say that God is a despot, playing germ warfare with sections of humanity, it's blasphemy.

I'm going to go ahead with the ordination. Very much so. I've been on the road to ordination for eight years and I'm not about to fold up.

Wise Before Their Time:

People with AIDS and HIV talk about their lives

By Ann Richardson

‘This collection of true stories is as powerful as any great classic of fiction’ Sir Ian McKellen.

They are young and they have a life-threatening disease…

The year is 1991. Diagnoses of HIV are rising and there is no cure in sight. Coming from all corners of the world, forty-one young men and women talk about living with HIV and AIDS.

They must cope with the enormous stigma, blame and guilt associated with the disease. And there are challenges in telling their parents and partners, trying to keep healthy and looking for work – all while facing an inevitably shortened future.

Yet they remain committed to celebrating the joys of life as much as they can. The book is testimony to the resilience of the human spirit.

Amazon UK • Amazon US

Ann Richardson

Ann Richardson spent her working years as a health researcher, undertaking work commissioned by governmental and other agencies to understand people’s experiences of - and views on - their health care. Now retired, she enjoys writing books using her research and writing skills. These books are on all on different subjects: people with HIV/AIDS; people working in end-of-life care and grandmothers, but use the same technique of direct quotation from interviews. A fourth book about the inner thoughts of older men and women is in planning. American by birth, she has lived in London for over fifty years.

Connect with Ann: Website • Facebook • Twitter • Goodreads.